Ghetto Bambi and Cornflake Crumbs

Posted on February 18, 2008 and filed under Parenting and Other Misnomers..., Articles

By, Sonja Stewart

So, here’s a little insight into my world as of late:

    We had a VHS video of Bambi, the loveable Disney classic that is adored by millions of children and adults around the world.
My Jojo is one of the adorers.

She watched Bambi over and over until the VCR ate the tape.
Why did we have a VHS, you ask. Why not buy the DVD?


Well, we are cheap, to be honest. Actually, I am cheap. My husband repeatedly asked me to go out and get the DVD to save our sanity from the rewinding nightmare we had to endure every time she wanted to watch the tape.
I didn’t listen, and now we have no tape.
Not a problem, I think, and I go out to buy a DVD of Bambi. Something Jeff wanted me to do from the start. Only the DVDs are over 18 bucks a pop. AT COSTCO!
I, the self described cheapo I am, refuse to pay 18 bucks for a DVD just because the name Disney is on it. ESPECIALLY when we already lined the pockets of fat cats with the purchase of the first one.
So, I don’t get the DVD. I buy a set of books for her instead, and at 8 bucks, for four books, I figure I’m sitting pretty.
But she wants Bambi.
She stills asks, with that adorable wavering vabratto, “Bam…beee?”
So I, in a moment of desperation, pull out Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and say, “Bambi!” triumphantly. She smiles and claps, “Bam beee Bam beee!!!”
Now I am stuck with having her watch Christmas programming in February.
Yes. Ghetto Bambi.

My brain is wonky, I know. But I got a real glimpse of just the amount of wonkiness inside it the other day. I went shopping with the hubby and toddler for groceries. They went to another section while I stayed behind in the baking aisle. We needed bread crumbs, but I was looking over the selection and my brain got stuck.
That’s the only way I can describe it.
It got stuck.
Between the Italian Bread crumbs, the Japanese style Panko, and the Cornflake Crumbs…my brain…just…sloooowed….doooooooowwwwnnnn..
As my brain was slowing down, a lady from church walked by.
The interaction went like this:
“Hi, Sonja!”
“Huh? Oh, Hi, Elizabeth!”
It was quiet, so I spoke…BIG mistake…
“I’m thinking of trying out Cornflake Crumbs.”
“That’s nice.”

She nodded at me like I was one of those crazy people on the streets that you’re not sure how to respond to, so you just agree with them and hope they won’t stab you or scream at you when you walk away…
I had to elaborate…
“I’m thinking of switching from the regular bread crumbs,” I smiled…and died.
“Ok, well….see you later…”she escaped to the check out counter and left me standing there…
with the bread crumbs and the corn flakes…
and not a single shred of sanity more.

I’ve been awkward before. I was in junior high once…
But I have never, in my life, had such an embarrassing lapse of brain.
Ever.
For reals.

It took me a full day before I could relate the story to Jeff.
He’s still laughing.



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